glamjam | Recent Entries

I didn't forget that I have a journal to update, what are you talking about? >_>

Yesterday was a shitty day. I wanted it to not be, and managed most of the day okay, but it was sucking hardcore by the evening. I felt like an asshole for crying bitterly after my bff called to tell me how awesome her Valentine's day was. Last year they were still getting over cancer, so of course I was genuinely happy that they had such a nice day, but I was also super envious of them having such a perfect V-day.

I spent yesterday covering a shift at IOW, which meant I didn't have time for plasma. Today's my normal day for IOW, so I don't have time for plasma today, either. I was there alone most of yesterday and Ryan barely said 2 sentences to me all day. My parents went out for a Valentine's lunch, but I had to go to IOW, so I couldn't go.

I don't know. It was just one of those days when you really want to feel loved and acknowledged by people you care about, but that doesn't happen, so you feel like shit. I guess the difference from it being a crappy day for someone single is that I *have* people I care about, I just didn't get to interact with them at all.

Meh.

day 3: what you think your reason for being here is
I was conceived, gestated to ~~almost~~full term, and was born? I don't have any sort of ~higher reason~ to be here, just basic biology.

day 4: how you think your life would change if you achieved your dream
I don't really have any dreams right now. :\ Meme, you are giving me a night of funk.

day 5: something you would change about the world
There are a lot of things I wish I could change about the world, but maybe one of the single things that could have multiple ramifications would be if everyone were less judgmental, more compassionate, and just *thought* a little more before speaking. That probably sounds really vague and smarmy, but the hope for result - less racism/homophobia/ableism/etc. would do a lot to make the world a better place.

( More in here. )

day 2: something that’s illegal but you think it should be legal

I have trouble sometimes thinking about illegal things that should be legalized because for some of them to function well legally, society needs to get its fucking act together. Example: sex work. I personally think that sex work should be legalized and regulated for the safety of all involved, but when talking about sex work, it's difficult to escape that many of the people who argue for its legalization or glorify it are people who have a *choice* in whether to engage in the profession or not. Many people involved in sex work do so because they have no other choice, for a variety of reasons - no other job options, human slavery, they're children, etc. I think legalization and regulation would help these people too, but for other reasons, namely getting them out of the trade.

Anyway, that's my needs-to-do-more-reading-about-it opinion.

(Um, also same-sex marriage, poly marriage, abortion, trans rights!)

( Moar here. )

Stole this from

zeta_tauri

day 1: hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days with a picture of yourself

Me & Nova, kunzite's cat, who is my secret lover-cat.

I don't really have any dreams or hopes articulated at the moment. I've kind of been on a plateau with life for awhile now. I guess in a year it would be nice to have a steady job, live on my own, have a cat, and just generally be more independent. Making art again would be nice, too.

My only real plan for the next year, thus far, is going to Maryland in May for

ecto_gammat's wedding. ;3

( Moar in here. )

I'm having a crappy night.

I know that everything is being exacerbated by the fact that I had issues swallowing my pills when I was sick last week, and I've been bad at getting back on them since. Duly acknowledged and I'm working on it.

Thing 1) Not sure if I'm going to see Ryan this week, which is kind of a big emotional trigger right now. I'm pretty sure I'll see him on Saturday for the Halloween party, but that's not the same with 1-on-1 time that is mostly spent cuddling. I think the concept of not getting time with him during the week is a big issue at the moment because I didn't see him 7 months and although he's closer now I'm seeing him a little at a time, we haven't done a big hangout of multiple days and actually sleeping the night together, which is what I'm used to happening after a prolonged absence. So even though I have him in my life more, it still feels like we're kind of in limbo? Additional challenges include my place being the only location where we can hangout freely and be ourselves; I could go up to Vancouver to his place, but his parents are home a lot and I have to be a platonic friend when I'm there.

Thing 2) My dad's been talking up a storm of my parents moving into a smaller place lately, and while this isn't going to happen anytime soon (say, the next 6-12 months), it's making me freak the fuck out because, hi? I'm unemployed, have no prospects, and nowhere to go when they move into a smaller place that has no room for me.

Thing 3) It's time for my mom's quarterly meeting, which means she's off to Bend, in eastern Oregon, for 3 days and nights. Not a big deal, except that leaves me home with my dad for that time and the way things have been going lately, I'm worried that we're just going to fight the whole time and that does my emotional state no favors.

Thing 4) I didn't get hired back on at Harry & David's, which was really unexpected. I suppose I should have been more cautious about it, but since I left in good standing last season, I thought getting the position again would be fairly easy. So yeah. Feeling really useless in the job regard.

Thing 5) I'm on my period this week, which makes everything exponentially worse.

So basically I want to be wrapped up in a certain someone's arms so I feel safe and less like things are going to hell, but no dice. I have all of the alone and oh jesus, ALL OF THE CRYING. ~~And then I feeling fucking dumb because, hey, it could be so much worse. Cancer, etc.~~

I've finally started acquiring things for my costume.

Here's the fabric and trim for the main part of my Medusa costume:

The colors are a little off - the fabric is a bit more green and the trim is more silver.

I also just got these at In Other Words for my costume (I can't have *everything* be snakes) :

Two days ago, I had no plans to do anything for Halloween. Now? I'm apparently planning a volunteers & friends party and IOW. Whoo?

Of course, this means I need a Halloween costume. Luckily, I rediscovered Take Back Halloween a few days ago, so it didn't take long for me to have an idea: MEDUSA

( lots 'o photos for inspiration )

Someone told I should post more. *coughMikecough* So this is me doing so.

*I spent 48 hours with my awesome friends in Beaverton to celebrate bff Laura's 25th birthday. We watched gratuitous amounts of Netflix, ate unhealthily, consumed brownies, and crafted. It was fun and I think Laura ended up having a relatively good day, which was my goal.

* Sweetie and co. have landed in the Pacific Northwest safely, with the 2 cats in tow. Hurrah! It was tough to wait a week to see them (haven't seen sweetie since February), but I'm officially visiting on Tuesday and have been promised makeouts and pony-watching. Not sure logistically how this is going to work since, you know, they're living with his very Catholic parents, but I trust that he's got something planned out.

* I was diagnosed as pre-diabetic 2 weeks ago and have been trying to made healthy changes since them. This is going to get its own post at some point.

* I ventured down to Harry & David's on Tuesday and asked to be considered for seasonal work again. I'm supposed to hear from Carole, the manager, at some point.

* My 2 week bruise of death is finally fading. Hopefully I'll be able to return to plasma in the middle of next week because DAMN, I'm broke.

* I GOT TO BE AN EXTRA ON PORTLANDIA. I WANT TO SAY MORE, BUT I CAN'T. STUPID NON-DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT. I'll let you know in January if you can actually see me in an episode. (It would be in one of the feminist bookstore clips, naturally.)

* I've been knitting. It fucking makes my hands hurt, but I've missed it.

My Aloo Gobi

(Adapted from this recipe, which is in turn adapted from Anupy Singla's The Indian Slow Cooker)

I originally got this recipe from my friend, Dan the Yeti. I cat-sit for him occasionally and during a stint over the summer, I was ordered to make this while he was away because all the ingredients were in the apartment and should be used soon. Indian food? From a crock-pot? I was sold.

It was a little spicy for me, though; why I'm a spice wimp who loves Indian food, I'll never know. So when it came time to make this again at my own house, I made a couple of alterations to better suit my tastes - two potatoes instead of one, sweet potatoes to temper the spiciness, and 2 tsp chili powder instead instead of 3. So maybe it's wimpy aloo gobi, comparatively speaking, but it's aloo gobi that I'll gladly stuff in my face. I usually eat this over some quinoa to up the protein content a bit.

Ready to start cooking!

Serves 6

1 large cauliflower, washed and cut into bite-sized pieces
2 sweet potatoes, peeled and diced
1 medium yellow onion, peeled and diced
1 medium tomato, diced
4 cloves garlic, minced or pressed
1 poblano pepper, or pepper of your choice
1 tbsp cumin seeds
2 tsp red chili powder
1 tbsp garam masala
1 tbsp salt
1 tsp turmeric powder
3 tbsp olive oil
1 heaping tbsp cilantro, chopped (optional)

Put all the ingredients in the crock-pot. Cook on low for 5 hours (turn up to high for the last hour if you think it's necessary). Stir occasionally. Don’t worry if the cauliflower seems crunchy; it will eventually soften and release liquid. Add cilantro after cooking is completed. Serve with rice, naan, or quinoa.

Note: I chop all of the ingredients except for the cauliflower, which I like to breakup by hand directly into the pot. I find it meditative and less messy, but chopping is probably faster.

Tofu & Kale

(Adapted from this recipe at vegweb.com)

At one point, I did have the ingredients for the original version of this recipe...and then I was lazy and they got used for other things. And I acquired a very tasty bottle of teriyaki sauce - Soy Vay's Island Teriyaki Sauce, which tastes of pineapple! Omnomnom. So I threw things together, half following the recipe, and this deliciousness happened.

Serves 3-4

12 oz block firm tofu
1 bunch kale, about 6-8 leaves, roughly chopped
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp sesame oil
1 onion, sliced into half-moons
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp ginger, minced
6-8 mushrooms, sliced
teriyaki sauce to taste

Cut the tofu into 8 slices and marinate in a pan with enough teriyaki sauce to cover the bottom, about 40 minutes.

Steam kale for 5 to 10 minutes, or until bright green and soft. You could also dunk it in boiling water for a couple of minutes, uncovered, until bright green if you don't have a steamer.

Heat the oils in a large skillet or wok over medium heat and add the onion, ginger, and garlic. Add the mushrooms after 2-3 minutes. Cook, stirring often, until the onions are just translucent. Cut the tofu into 1-inch pieces, drain and reserve teriyaki sauce and add to pan, stirring to heat though.

Around this time the kale should be done. Take the kale and add it to the skillet/wok and stir to combine. Add teriyaki to taste and combine well. Heat for a couple more minutes or until kale is done to your liking. Serve and consume!

Homemade Seitan

(From Veganomicon by Isa Chandra Moskowitz & Terry Hope Romero.)

I still marvel a little that seitan's so easy to make at home, although that still doesn't help me make it with any frequency. Still, it's a simple process and it's *fun*. Just don't try to eat a piece of the raw dough ~~like I've done several times~~ because it's like chewing gum.

Makes 1 lb

1 cup vital wheat gluten
3 tbsp nutritional yeast
1/2 cup cold vegetable broth
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 tbsp olive oil
2 cloves garlic, pressed or grated

Broth:
4 cups broth
4 cups water
1/4 cup soy sauce

Mix the gluten flour and yeast in a large bowl. In a smaller bowl, combine the broth, soy sauce, olive oil, and garlic. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry and stir with a wooden spoon until most of the moisture has been absorbed and the wet ingredients are partially clumped up with the dry. Use your hands to knead the mixture for about 3 minutes, until the dough is elastic. Divide with a knife into three equal pieces and knead those pieces in your hand to stretch them out a little.

Fill a stockpot with the broth, water, and soy sauce and stir. Add the wheat gluten pieces, cover, and bring to a boil. Try to catch it as soon as it boils and lower the heat as low as possible while still simmering. Partially cover the pot, so steam can escape, and let simmer for an hour, turning the seitan occasionally. Turn off the heat and take the lid off; let sit for 15 minutes.

Remove from the broth and place in a strainer until it's cool enough to handle. Now slice and use as you'd like. If you have extra seitan, store in the cooking broth in a tightly covered container.

Indian Butter Chicken (Murgh Makani)

(From the local newspaper, here.)

It's fair to point out that I've never had "real" Butter Chicken, so I actually have no idea if this resembles the usual dish or not. Having never had it before, I was a little sad that it didn't taste more...buttery? Maybe that's because I didn't use cream. Anyway, I'll probably investigate some other recipes before I make this again.

Serves 4

1 tbsp oil
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1 - 1 1/4 lbs seitan, cut into 1-inch chunks
1/4 cup tandoori marinade (I used Patak's)
one 14 oz can whole tomatoes, finely chopped, with juice
2 cups baby spinach (optional)
1/4 cup heavy whipping cream OR plain yogurt (I used half & half)
1/4 cup cilantro, finely chopped (optional)

In a large saucepan, heat the oil over medium heat. Add the onion and saute until it begins to brown, about 8 minutes. Add the seitan and tandoori paste and cook, stirring frequently, for about 4 minutes.

Add the tomatoes and juice and lower heat to maintain a gently simmer. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the sauce has thickened, about 30 minutes. Add the spinach, if using, and stir to wilt the leaves.

Remove the pan from the heat and allow to stand for 1 minute. Add the cream or yogurt and cilantro and stir well to combine. Serve with basmati rice or naan.

Note: If you can't find 14 oz cans of while tomatoes (which I couldn't), substitute 3/4 cup diced tomatoes and 1 cup tomato juice. An entire can of diced tomatoes will add too much tomato and not enough juice.

Lately, I haven't been doing much in the way of art (although I'm now working on a painting for friends). The most creative thing I've been doing with any sort of frequency is cooking, so...I've decided to start posting about that. I'm terrible at starting up new projects and forgetting them, however, so I'm not going to make a separate journal/blog for food - I'm just going to post things here. I hope you all don't mind. ;)

Blueberry Banana Bread

(Adapted from from Veganomicon by Isa Chandra Moskowitz & Terry Hope Romero.)

I used to make banana bread a lot, particularly before I cooked very much and felt inept. I guess I got caught up in more complicated recipes and forgot about it for several years. 8 bananas, hot summer days, and the ensuing RIPE!!!1ONE bananas certainly brought it back to mind, though. Whatever recipe I used to use, I no longer have, so when scrambling around this morning, I remember that I've actually got some cookbooks that have EVERYTHING in them, like Veganomicon. Except I didn't have applesauce and wanted to use some frozen blueberries, so I came up with the following. Also, given the oven in my house, next time I'll bake the bread for the full 50 minutes - the bread was completely delicious, but the center was a little gooey.

Makes 1 loaf, which serves 8

2 large OR 3 medium bananas
1/4 cup milk of your choice
1/4 cup oil
1/2 cup sugar
2 tbsp molasses
2 cups all-purpose flour (though I used whole wheat)
3/4 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup blueberries, fresh or frozen

Preheat over to 350 degrees F. Lightly grease a 9x5-inch loaf pan.

In a large mixing bowl, mash bananas well. Add the sugar, milk, oil, and molasses. Whisk briskly to combine.

Add the flour, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, salt, and vanilla extract. Use a wooden spoon to mix until the wet and dry ingredients are just combined. Fold in the blueberries.

Transfer batter to the loaf pan and bake for 45-50 minutes. The top should be browned and a knife inserted through the center should come out clean. Remove from the oven and let cool before cutting.

Vegetarian Tetrazzini

(Adapted from this recipe at The Law Student's Cookbook.)

This was my first time ever having tetrazzini, so I didn't have anything to compare the outcome of this recipe to. It was good, but a little bland over all. I'll probably try to spice it up more next time, probably by the addition of sauteed onion, more garlic, add some cheese to the sauce, and possibly parsley. Still, a very comfort food-y dinner.

Serves 8

1 lb spaghetti, broken into thirds
1 tbsp olive oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 scallions, sliced
24 oz mushrooms, sliced
1/2 cup butter or margarine
1/2 cup flour
1/4 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp ground black pepper
2 cups vegetable broth
2 cups half & half
1/4 cup white wine
12 oz ground "meat" (I used Smart Ground)
1 cup Parmesan cheese, grated

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Boil water in a pot over high heat and cook the noodles according to the directions on the package.

Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium-high heat. Saute the garlic and scallions partially cooked, then add the mushrooms and saute until they release their liquid. Set aside.

Melt the butter/margarine in a small skillet. Stir in the flour, salt, and pepper and cook for a minute until smooth and bubbly. Stir in the vegetable broth, wine, and half and half until just boiling. Let boil for 1 minute, stirring.

In a casserole dish combine the "meat" and mushrooms, then add the spaghetti and combine, and finally the sauce and combine.

Sprinkle with cheese and bake uncovered for 30 minutes.

I tend to post really sporadically, which is never particularly intentional, I just...don't feel like I have interesting things to post very often? And recently, I haven't had internet access at my house for a solid month, which has sucked.

So. New things.

* I have internet again! :D We kind of got fucked over by our phone company (Frontier. Booooo.) and our account ended, so we ended up not having internet OR a land line phone anymore. This also meant we couldn't get DSL from another company because, duh, no phone line. We signed up for cable internet from Comcast, which is more that we want to spend, but the house needs internet. So Comcast came out, looked around, and pronounced that our house has never had a cable hook-up, so they would have to dig one in first. So we waited a couple of weeks, and finally the crew came by and dug in the cable line to our house via our neighbor's front yard. Two days later, a technician came out and officially connected us. Then my awesome friend Mike came by twice and finagled our devices into providing wifi to the house. So now we have awesome-sauce internetz at my house after a month of nothing. Yay!

* I got a new phone! I'd had my Motorola Backflip for two years and was thus eligible for a new phone upgrade. I didn't have a lot to spend on it, so after a couple of weeks of research, playing with phones in-store, and spreadsheet making for comparisons, I ended up with an HTC Vivid, which is basically a fuckton better than my two-year-old phone. I got a pretty rainbow zebra-stripe case and a screen protector, and me and my new phone are styling. And it's amazing and I love it to death.

* Two weeks after ordering the new phone, I was informed that Zed and Ryan are probably going to be ditching their phones for financial reasons, so there was a big chance of either ending up as the main line on the account, which I can't afford, or cancelling the contract, which none of us could afford. (The main line would be about $100 a month and the early termination fee is $350.) The good part of this is that I just successfully got my new, New phone working today - Mike, the awesome friend from earlier, and his spouse Laura, let me add a line to their plan, so I'll be paying the same amount for my line with just a few plan differences and with a new number. It sucks that it had to be a new line, but Oregon's a different service region than Las Vegas, so we couldn't just transfer it. It sucks that I had to spend effectively an extra $100 on this though.

* However, Zed and Ryan will be ditching their phones because Ryan has resigned from his job that they're moving back up here in less than a month. They're going to live with Ryan's parents until they have new jobs. While I wish that Ryan would have given more notice about the move (he's been thinking about it for months, but only told the rest of us the week he was resigning), I am proud of him for taking that's step, because he's been miserable for the past year, a lot of which has been due to hating his job. So I'm glad that he's doing something that's going to make him happier. And obviously I'm super happy that I'll be able to see my sweetie (and Zed) a lot more.

* I'm also in the process of setting up a second interview with the Japanese supermarket, Uwajimaya. :D

I'm leaving this here in case I lose the sheet of paper that it's written on. (I has this done at a party tonight - you give the "Dr." a little form that mentions your main point of stress, $ you have to spend on your prescription, whether you have a car, your favorite food, etc. and they write a pleasure prescription for you. It was pretty cool.)

Pleasure Prescription for Mary

Your RX: For your prescription you will host an Indian food-themed potluck dinner party in your home. Invite some of your favorite people that you bring together. At dinner, reflect on the way that each of these people nourish you, create a community around you. At the end of the night, you will create mail art with a letter to your sweetie, reflecting on your evening, as well as write a letter to yourself, reflecting with gratitude on all the love and goodness you offer the world.

Thank you, Dr. Sady & Dr. Gray

The house doesn't have internet right now - Frontier cancelled us because of non-payment (ie: they messed up connecting to our bank and blamed us) and probably because they didn't want to pay to fix the buried phone line. So my internet is currently restricted to whenever I'm at In Other Words and what I can access on my phone...

...which is quickly dying. As soon as I seriously started planning on getting a new phone, my current started getting buggier and buggier. At this point, I'm going to order the new phone next Friday (or rather Miles is going to do it since I'm on his account ♥). I even know what protective case I'm going to get for it (hint: it's zebra-striped and rainbow-y). The phone isn't the best thing ever, but it's pretty darn good (HTC Vivid) given I can only afford to spend $50 on a new phone...

...because the job didn't work out. I worked several shifts and couldn't deal with the whole working-all-alone-after-two-days-of-training thing. I knew that the job would be a solo shift going into it, but I didn't know I would have an issue with that. So lesson learned, at least for now. Once I have internet again, I'll resume the job hunt. But hey, at least I know I'm hire-able?

As I've mentioned previously, I've always been sad that the Anarchist Cookbook isn't a real cookbook, with recipes for things like "Anarchy Ice Cream". Therefore, I've decided to make my own compilation cook~~book~~zine! (With tongue firmly planted in cheek, at least in terms of recipe names).

For the Feminist Killjoy Cookbook, I want your favorite recipes paired up with sarcastic names, like "Menstrual Minestrone" and "Risotto of the Revolution". I would also love to include some essays/personal statements about how feminism relates to your life and/or why you think it's important, whether it's how & why we're not in a post-feminist society or how feminism helps compact body stigma & the diet industry. (It would be cool to have some talking directly about food/cooking. :D )

Ideally, I'd like to have a variety of recipes (like, breakfast, entree, salad, soup, dessert, etc.) and hopefully 30-ish recipes. I would also prefer things to be vegetarian/vegan friendly OR non-veg with a veg*n substitution suggestion.

Required information
Name: (real or psuedonym, whatever you feel comfortable with)
Location: (city? state? country? again, whatever you prefer)
Recipe:
Essay: (you can send me an outline of your essay and send the essay at a later date)

The "fine print":
- There is no close date for submissions at this point; I'll stop accepting submissions when I've received enough to fill the zine.
- Submit as many recipes and essays as you like, though I make no guarantees about how many will be accepted.
- Recipes shouldn't be plagiarized from other sources.
- As the editor of this project, I have final say in what makes it into the zine. If I find something problematic about what you submit to the zine, I'll make a good-faith attempt to work things out with you.
- Anyone can submit to this zine - be they female, male, trans, cis, gay, straight, vegan, omnivore, or anything else - but misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, etc. content won't be accepted.
- Recipes may be edited for clarity, if necessary. I'll let you know if this is the case.
- If you have any questions, email me. :)

Email submissions to neonheartzine @ gmail.com ♥

I GOT A JOB. :D

It's not amazing, but it's employment. It only took 5-ish months for someone to hire me. :P

I'll be a solo sales associate in a gift shop/convenience stores inside one of 5 hotels in Portland. (Four of them are in downtown and one is at the airport.) It's minimum wage and no benefits, but it'll be three or four shifts a week, which is easily 20+ hours a week and more than I was expecting.

So yeah. Pretty exciting news, although the prospect of getting secret-shopped twice a month is a bit nerve-wracking. Still. Just waiting for the background check to come back, then I'll go in and sign paperwork. Need to get some clothes to work in and find a nose ring (so I'll remember to remove it before work - I have a feeling I'd forget to take out my stud often).

:)