Glamjam

I'm having a crappy night.

I know that everything is being exacerbated by the fact that I had issues swallowing my pills when I was sick last week, and I've been bad at getting back on them since. Duly acknowledged and I'm working on it.

Thing 1) Not sure if I'm going to see Ryan this week, which is kind of a big emotional trigger right now. I'm pretty sure I'll see him on Saturday for the Halloween party, but that's not the same with 1-on-1 time that is mostly spent cuddling. I think the concept of not getting time with him during the week is a big issue at the moment because I didn't see him 7 months and although he's closer now I'm seeing him a little at a time, we haven't done a big hangout of multiple days and actually sleeping the night together, which is what I'm used to happening after a prolonged absence. So even though I have him in my life more, it still feels like we're kind of in limbo? Additional challenges include my place being the only location where we can hangout freely and be ourselves; I could go up to Vancouver to his place, but his parents are home a lot and I have to be a platonic friend when I'm there.

Thing 2) My dad's been talking up a storm of my parents moving into a smaller place lately, and while this isn't going to happen anytime soon (say, the next 6-12 months), it's making me freak the fuck out because, hi? I'm unemployed, have no prospects, and nowhere to go when they move into a smaller place that has no room for me.

Thing 3) It's time for my mom's quarterly meeting, which means she's off to Bend, in eastern Oregon, for 3 days and nights. Not a big deal, except that leaves me home with my dad for that time and the way things have been going lately, I'm worried that we're just going to fight the whole time and that does my emotional state no favors.

Thing 4) I didn't get hired back on at Harry & David's, which was really unexpected. I suppose I should have been more cautious about it, but since I left in good standing last season, I thought getting the position again would be fairly easy. So yeah. Feeling really useless in the job regard.

Thing 5) I'm on my period this week, which makes everything exponentially worse.


So basically I want to be wrapped up in a certain someone's arms so I feel safe and less like things are going to hell, but no dice. I have all of the alone and oh jesus, ALL OF THE CRYING. And then I feeling fucking dumb because, hey, it could be so much worse. Cancer, etc.

I tend to post really sporadically, which is never particularly intentional, I just...don't feel like I have interesting things to post very often? And recently, I haven't had internet access at my house for a solid month, which has sucked.

So. New things.

* I have internet again! :D We kind of got fucked over by our phone company (Frontier. Booooo.) and our account ended, so we ended up not having internet OR a land line phone anymore. This also meant we couldn't get DSL from another company because, duh, no phone line. We signed up for cable internet from Comcast, which is more that we want to spend, but the house needs internet. So Comcast came out, looked around, and pronounced that our house has never had a cable hook-up, so they would have to dig one in first. So we waited a couple of weeks, and finally the crew came by and dug in the cable line to our house via our neighbor's front yard. Two days later, a technician came out and officially connected us. Then my awesome friend Mike came by twice and finagled our devices into providing wifi to the house. So now we have awesome-sauce internetz at my house after a month of nothing. Yay!

* I got a new phone! I'd had my Motorola Backflip for two years and was thus eligible for a new phone upgrade. I didn't have a lot to spend on it, so after a couple of weeks of research, playing with phones in-store, and spreadsheet making for comparisons, I ended up with an HTC Vivid, which is basically a fuckton better than my two-year-old phone. I got a pretty rainbow zebra-stripe case and a screen protector, and me and my new phone are styling. And it's amazing and I love it to death.

* Two weeks after ordering the new phone, I was informed that Zed and Ryan are probably going to be ditching their phones for financial reasons, so there was a big chance of either ending up as the main line on the account, which I can't afford, or cancelling the contract, which none of us could afford. (The main line would be about $100 a month and the early termination fee is $350.) The good part of this is that I just successfully got my new, New phone working today - Mike, the awesome friend from earlier, and his spouse Laura, let me add a line to their plan, so I'll be paying the same amount for my line with just a few plan differences and with a new number. It sucks that it had to be a new line, but Oregon's a different service region than Las Vegas, so we couldn't just transfer it. It sucks that I had to spend effectively an extra $100 on this though.

* However, Zed and Ryan will be ditching their phones because Ryan has resigned from his job that they're moving back up here in less than a month. They're going to live with Ryan's parents until they have new jobs. While I wish that Ryan would have given more notice about the move (he's been thinking about it for months, but only told the rest of us the week he was resigning), I am proud of him for taking that's step, because he's been miserable for the past year, a lot of which has been due to hating his job. So I'm glad that he's doing something that's going to make him happier. And obviously I'm super happy that I'll be able to see my sweetie (and Zed) a lot more.

* I'm also in the process of setting up a second interview with the Japanese supermarket, Uwajimaya. :D

I GOT A JOB. :D

It's not amazing, but it's employment. It only took 5-ish months for someone to hire me. :P

I'll be a solo sales associate in a gift shop/convenience stores inside one of 5 hotels in Portland. (Four of them are in downtown and one is at the airport.) It's minimum wage and no benefits, but it'll be three or four shifts a week, which is easily 20+ hours a week and more than I was expecting.

So yeah. Pretty exciting news, although the prospect of getting secret-shopped twice a month is a bit nerve-wracking. Still. Just waiting for the background check to come back, then I'll go in and sign paperwork. Need to get some clothes to work in and find a nose ring (so I'll remember to remove it before work - I have a feeling I'd forget to take out my stud often).

:)

Copypasta from Facebook:

( a glimpse of zines to come )


Also, I got an email that Planned Parenthood was finally hiring some non-bilingual call centers flunkies, so I applied for that.

I'm typing up stuff about the past week, mostly for myself but also for those of you who care.

In the meantime, here are some things I plan to do tomorrow:

- donate plasma and get some monies

- NOT oogle new phones because I can't afford and don't need one despite the prettiness of Stephanie's Droid 3. >_>

- probably go to Goodwill because I haven't been to a thrift store in forever and shopping is good for depression
Got an awesome sweater and Sarah Waters latest novel ! :D

- run my clothes from the motel through the drier to kill possible bedbugs (or fleas? whatever the fuck bit me!)

- job hunt and send resumes/cover letters to the couple of jobs I found tonight
Applied for a job at OMSI, whoo!

- clean in my room a bit

- ponder what I want "eating well" to mean to me

- possibly give myself a sleep schedule

- continue reading "The Hunger Games"

I've been kind of depressed yesterday and today (thus far). Got into it with dad yesterday, got belittled, cried, got pissed, had to go to work after. Ick.

I have a bit of time before work today, so I'm going to try and leave early and get my holds from the library and maybe go to the new coffee shop in downtown Gresham. I had a mocha there last week, but I haven't tried the chai yet.

Also, I don't think I've mentioned it yet, but my job DOESN'T end as of the first. I guess a number of people are going to be taking some vacation now that we're not busy, so my manager's going to keep me on for awhile. She said it's probably not permanent and obviously the hours will be a lot less, but still!

My 26th birthday was last week (on the 26th :P).

I had a good time that day. I took the train downtown and got a free scoop of ice cream at Ben & Jerry's. I also got free samosas for lunch because Amritpal at Bombay Chaat House asked how my day was and I said it was going well because of my birthday. He wouldn't let me pay for my samosas after that, which made the day even more awesome. (Bombay Chaat House ♥) That night my parents and I ate at the Horse Brass Pub - omnom fish and chips, ginger ale, and bread pudding.

Laura and I were supposed to do Voodoo Doughnuts that night, but everyone else who was supposed to come canceled at the last minute, so I rescheduled that for this past Sunday. Again, no one showed up at Voodoo besides Laura and I, but when we went to Shari's later for late night coffee, Dan and Deyvyd showed up and I had a *really* good time with them all. I don't really see friends in groups these days, so it was really refreshing to be in a group of four AND be able to reminisce about high school and how people were really silly on the band trip to Hawai'i in 2002 (the baritone player shaved his chest immediately before going into the ocean and a flute who was very pale and red-headed ended up turning read as a lobster). While we were at Shari's, Laura bought be a birthday pie and had the staff stick a candle in it. Then she, Dan, and Deyvyd sang to me and we gorged on pie (this was after the doughnuts, mind you!).

I admit to being kind of bummed out in the birthday present department earlier in the week, but this really good night with friends helped a lot to alleviate that. My parents gave me a subscription to a magazine and an IOU for a long overdue pair of new glasses. Laura gave me a bracelet with Catholic saints on it and some bacon-free clam chowder base from the coast. :D I ended up buying myself a book as a present with a Borders coupon, too.

P.S. While at Voodoo Doughnuts, I had my annual birthday cock'n'balls doughnut. Laura bought it for me and asked them to write on it. Little did I know what she would write. >__>

( mah doughnut! )

Oh dear, I found a lot of feeds to add to my reading page, which is quickly becoming as busy as my LJ f-list.

Also, I should be walking to work now. >_>;

Yes, this is all I post lately. :P

( Master To-Do List )