Friday

Jun. 22nd, 2012 01:47 pm
glamjam: (Default)
I slept in for forever. Let's see how much I'll actually get done. D:

* finish episode 6 & 7 of Downton Abbey, Series 1
* watch Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
* call place about Job 1 Friend's tip incorrect; place isn't hiring
* email place about Job 2
* go through fridge & get rid of the nasty things
* dishes
* donate plasma
Deferred; hematocrit too low. *grumbles*
* complete at least 3 food pages
* sketch out belated food pages
* make actual journal post
* clean floor of room
* 15 minutes on stationary bike
* make sausage recipe

Bonus: Watched 1st episode of Downton Abbey, series 2
glamjam: (Night sky)
Today's been ridiculously emo for me, but at least last night was okay.

After my shift at IOW, I had a crafting date with Carri. I had to get a couple of shirts to destroy on the way there, which ended up being spendier than I would have liked. Ah well, I'm not known for my ability to plan well. I made Carri a new Beth Ditto and feminist symbol stencil, since the shirts she made with them last week ended up being to small. We both made shirts that said "f*ck ladylike", which I can't wait to wear. (At some point, I'm going to have to make a post all the new shirts I've gotten lately. Argh.)

Carri's friend Shannon was there, too - I don't know her terribly well, but she's quite nice and sarcastic!. After crafting, discussing the various states of romatic attachments and the etiquette of sex clubs, we had dinner - a vegan pizza, italian soda, minty Newman-Os, and a vegan chocolate ganache-banana cream pie.

We also watched "Whip It", which I'd never seen, but is now one of my favorite-est things ever. (And something I desperately need an icon for.)


Other things of interest:
* I have a job interview on Tuesday at Bullseye Glass
* My healthy project started on the first, but being emo is making it difficult
* Haven't talked to Ryan for almost 5 days

*sigh*
glamjam: (Shoshanna; reading)
I think I usually post this twice a year, so now seems like a good time.

Books That I've Read: 2012 Edition
(Goal: 50 books)

1. Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness by Ariel Gore
2. Matched by Ally Condie
3. The Color Purple by Alice Walker
4. Crossed by Ally Condie
5. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
6. Skin: Talking About Sex, Class, & Literature by Dorothy Allison ♥♥♥
7. Weetzie Bat by Francesca Lia Block
8. Witch Baby by Francesca Lia Block ♥
9. Cherokee Bat & the Goat Boys by Francesca Lia Block
10. Missing Angel Juan by Francesca Lia Block
11. Baby Be-Bop by Francesca Lia Block
12. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot ♥♥
13. Necklace of Kisses by Francesca Lia Block
14. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
15. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
16. So Much Pretty by Cara Hoffman
17. Nymph by Francesca Lia Block
18. In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan
19. Huge by Sasha Paley
20. Dragon's Milk by Susan Fletcher
21. Mariette in Ecstasy by Ron Hansen
22. My Big Fat Manifesto by Susan Vaught ♥
23. Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech ♥
24. The Glass Lake by Maeve Binchy ♥♥
glamjam: (Cinderella; CUNT)
I finally remembered to upload more icons. Huzza!
glamjam: (Shirley; bandana)
I'm currently sitting in Starbucks, sipping on iced coffee, listening to the Garbage CD (OH GOD I'M SUCH A FANGIRL), and making my own version of the Beth Ditto graffiti stencil that's been all over my Facebook feed lately. On Sunday, the IOW volunteers are having a brunch and stenciling t-shirts is going to be our crafty project. I'm doing this Beth Ditto stencil, possibly one of Frida Kahlo, and maaaaaybe one of my queenShirley Manson if I have enough time.

This is the stencil I'm copying, which is awesome:

glamjam: (Doctor Who; thin air)
Copypasta from Facebook:

a glimpse of zines to come )


Also, I got an email that Planned Parenthood was finally hiring some non-bilingual call centers flunkies, so I applied for that.

boo.

May. 7th, 2012 03:05 am
glamjam: (panic!)
It's three in the morning and I'm drinking a London Fog and listening to the Hours soundtrack. I'm still sick and should be in bed. Well.

emo Mary is emo )

In short: I'm lonely and crying a lot and wish I could get a fucking snuggle from my boyfriend/best friend.

Shit sucks.

Apr. 7th, 2012 01:50 am
glamjam: (Young Ones; who likes me?)
Depression fucking sucks.

Like, HOLY WHOA SHIT IT SUCKS.

Although there are a lot of similarities that show up when a bunch of depressed people talk about their depression, it also affects people really differently. I'm not sure why it came to mind, but on a blog I follow, the author talks about their depression in a such a way as to sound like an authority on the subject, which always ends up rubbing me the wrong way. Intellectually, I know that this person was only talking about their own experiences, but emotionally, it felt like they were saying that...I don't know, THIS IS THE WAY BEING DEPRESSED IS. And the way this mental illness affectz them was *not* the same way it affects me. And sometimes it really does feel like Mental Illness (TM).

I've been having a really down week. Just ask Ryan. He gets to deal with my emo bullshit day in and day out. Sometimes I think it's fair, since when he gets depressed he just shuts down and won't talk until he feels better (even if that's days and days), but then again it's not something that's tit for tat. I generally stay up until 1 or 2 am and if I'm having a bad day, as I have been, I'll start getting seriously emo and overthink-y. Sometimes it's a really good thing that he's busy at work during this time and can't hold a steady conversation - I could have said some seriously stupid shit if given the chance. (like "You should go find a more stable girlfriend who isn't broken in the head" or "I feel like I only get your full attention when I'm freaking out" or "I know you're going to break up with me because I'm so fucking depressed" or "Why aren't you psychic and know exactly what to say/do?")

It feels like I'm starting to come out of this particular funk, which is why I'm actually able to write all this stuff out. Otherwise, doing so would only make me cry...which is basically how I've gone to sleep most nights this week.

I hate my depression. I don't like how it makes me feel, but I dislike even more how I react to how it makes me feel - I hate being so irrational and feeling so alone and thinking that no one cares about me. Especially when I'm depressed, I don't think I'm deserving of love, which makes everything harder to deal with.

* * * * *
photo of stuff! )
glamjam: (Master approves!)
I have another interview at Powell's today. It's one-on-one, so this is further than I got last time I applied for a job with them. I'm not interviewing for the original position I applied for (which was at Hawthorne), but for one of 5 positions at the Burnside location. It would be 16 hours, mostly likely in 4 hour shifts. No benefits, but nice employee discounts.

I'm pretty nervous, but I guess it's a good sign that they called me back in?

The only downside currently is that I found out about the interview at 8 pm yesterday, so I haven't found someone to cover my shift at IOW this morning. Susie (the accountant) said she can handle ringing people up, but I feel bad leaving her hanging. D:
glamjam: (Reading is sexy)
Therefore, a bullet list.

* I've been more depressed than normal for the past couple of weeks and it's been difficult. Especially for the last week, Ryan's been in a bad mood and therefore uncommunicative, which makes things worse. I probably spend the most time with him and with Laura and Mike, who are out of town dealing with Mike's cancer surgery. It's been pretty lonely, even though I've been trying to find ways to keep myself engaged and in a good mood.

* A good example of succeeding (mostly) at a good mood happened yesterday. I went downtown on my own with a fist full of dollars from donating plasma and decided to enjoy myself. I stopped by the Saturday Market and got a new hair stick since I accidentally murdered my old one last fall - the new one is pretty and has a star on it. Then I got a mango bubble tea shake...thing. I think it was really just a mango shake with boba/tapioca, but whatever. IT WAS DELICIOUS. Made with actual mango and only $3! I also went to Fat Fancy to actually shop and got a cute red dress for summer and a kick-ass t-shirt that was made locally (it's lavender and has a screen print of Daisy Duck that says "You're nothing without feminist art." \o/ )
Then I went to Sizzle Pie and had some pizza, and endless soda, and finished a book.

* I've been reading a lot of Dorothy Allison lately and it's felt good. It's been a while since I've read a book which...spurred me into actually thinking and being analytical, and Allison's "Skin: Talking About Sex, Class, and Literature"(1994) did just that. It's been really refreshing. (And I get to see her speak on April 10th! :D :D :D )

* I started a separate account for food stuff. http://lavender-tea.dreamwidth.org/
It's sort of for whatever relating to food and eating, a space to talk about my food issues, etc. I felt that needed it's own space separate from my main journal.

* Tomorrow, I'm going to go outside and measure the plot of land that I talked dad into letting me use this summer. I want to try growing a couple of vegetables, along with putting some of my herbs into the ground. I'm going to ask a few friends what they've had good luck growing and go from there. (I'll probably do a whole post on that at some point.)

* 60 books were culled from my book shelves last night and you can't even tell. THAT'S HOW MANY GODDAMN BOOKS I HAVE.
glamjam: (bat babies ♥)
I found some jobs to apply to later if I can get out of this funk.

I want to sleep all the time. I miss Ryan a lot. I wish I could hang out with friends more often and not start out the day in a lonely funk. I don't have motivation for anything.

Ngh.

So.

Feb. 20th, 2012 11:21 pm
glamjam: (Modest)
I'm typing up stuff about the past week, mostly for myself but also for those of you who care.

In the meantime, here are some things I plan to do tomorrow:

- donate plasma and get some monies

- NOT oogle new phones because I can't afford and don't need one despite the prettiness of Stephanie's Droid 3. >_>

- probably go to Goodwill because I haven't been to a thrift store in forever and shopping is good for depression

Got an awesome sweater and Sarah Waters latest novel ! :D

- run my clothes from the motel through the drier to kill possible bedbugs (or fleas? whatever the fuck bit me!)

- job hunt and send resumes/cover letters to the couple of jobs I found tonight
Applied for a job at OMSI, whoo!

- clean in my room a bit

- ponder what I want "eating well" to mean to me

- possibly give myself a sleep schedule

- continue reading "The Hunger Games"
glamjam: (Amelie; tea)
I bought a pair of paperbacks which contain the entirety of Sherlock Holmes canon (yes, they are awesome).

I've finished reading "A Study in Scarlet" and the middle section of surpise!Mormons LOL always cracks me up.



I suppose I should get a Sherlock icon at some point, huh?
glamjam: (Amanda Palmer; keyboard)
I am!

Getting out of bed/out of the house is always the hardest part, though. I'm still in PJ's and sitting on my bed, but I'll be out of the house in half an hour or so.

Today shall consist of:
- donating plasma/getting $36 for it
- getting delicious Indian noms from Bombay Chaat House for the first time in 2 months (I think I'm going to get shahi paneer, garlic naan, and a mango lassi OMNOM)
- possibly go to Powell's and finally pick up a complete set of Sherlock Holmes
- get the February print calendar for In Other Words printed
- go to IOW and have a volunteer pajama party with snacks, making tie-dye t-shirts, and 80's music

So yes. It should be good. :)
glamjam: (Heart flame)
Here it is.

nsfw: boobs )

I used gouache for the last one and have come to the conclusion that I really need to get a hold of some decent gouache. The $5 is, obviously, pretty crappy.
glamjam: (Daria; flames)
I found out yesterday that this is my last week at my job. I understand why I'm being let go now (there are very few payroll hours in January), but it's still very frustrating.

The upside, I suppose, is that I now have professional retail experience. I don't want to go through job hunting again, though.

Basically, I'm gonna be depressed for a bit now. :\
glamjam: (Doctor Who; the doctor dances)
Noel Clarke's gonna be in Star Trek 2! Awesome! :D
glamjam: (Doctor Who; thin air)
It's a good thing I'm not watching Sherlock with anyone. I'd be constantly flailing at them.

Dec. 27th, 2011 10:04 pm
glamjam: (Hummingbird ribcage)
Thank you, mysterious paid-time donor. ♥

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